Cable,  Sarah Slusher,  TV & Movies

Are You The One? Season 5

Are You The One? Season 5 Episode Recaps
MTV

Are You The One? Season 5

Are You The One? Season 5 premieres January 11,2017 at 9/8c on MTV

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Portland is snowed in & it’s the perfect day to binge some reality TV. Good thing one of my favorites starts back up tonight.

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Are You The One? is the ultimate experiment where relationship experts pair up couples that are made for one another. MTV then throws all these young, beautiful & fit singles in a massive house with a massive liquor supply. All contestants are supposed to be there to find, “The One”, but I think for many it’s the beginning of their MTV The Challenge career. Johnny Bananas & CT, anyone- they’ve been on MTV for what feels like the last 2 decades.

What is Are You The One? Season 5 All About

The goal of the whole show is to have 10 perfect matches & they win some money. Some seasons use strategy & some “play with their hearts” to win. There’s always drama, hurt feelings, crazy parties & several crying confessions. It’s like The Real World, Road Rules, Real World/Road Rules Challenges & The Bachelor all rolled into one insane show. There’s even a fantasy league Are You The One?

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They compete in these crazy challenges & the winners get to go on a date outside of the house. The rest of the cast stays at the house & stews on who might be their match. As night comes & it’s time to pick your match. The host is Ryan Devlin, remember him as the super creepy Mercer Hayes on Veronica Mars? The cast chooses their match, bright lights show how many matches are correct, minds are blown & we’re onto next week. There’s also a truth booth. Each week the cast selects who they think is a perfect match & if correct, they secure a match. The couple moves out of the house, the dynamic changes & sometimes the “perfect match” couples are hooking up with other cast mates- DRAMA!

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It’s the perfect show to binge. Last season, our friends were staying with us for a few nights & we stayed up late one night getting caught up on Season 4. My friends are now hooked as well, so once the snow clears we will have a Wednesday night party watching this crazy show that we are Really Into. There’s even a fantasy league  for Are You The One?

Any other bingeworthy reality shows I’m missing out on?

WEEK 1 – Are You The One? Season 5

Okay, I love Hayden-give him a break about the camo pants, please. Michael is a total ass. Gianna was feeling Michael, but he made her cry. He was a chubby kid that blossomed into a dove-what the hell? I literally gagged when he grabbed Gianna’s chin to kiss her. Who thinks Ozzy & Kathryn are a perfect match? Not me, but we shall see. No perfect match for Gianna & Hayden, but 2 out of 11 matches tonight. Looks like a season filled with drama; I can’t wait!

WEEK 2 – Are You The One? Season 5

I noticed during the windsurfing group date that Hannah was checking out Andre. So when Andre & Alicia went to the truth booth & were not a perfect match, I knew the drama was about to begin. Alicia was super upset because she thought Andre was her match, but Andre was like, On to the next girl! Alicia starts to stew in the house as Hannah & Andre are hooking up. She got up in his face & he got upset & screamed “These girls cannot play the game they signed up for!” Later, Alicia called Hannah out for being a hot mess. I totally loved how Tyler & Taylor were just talking trash about the cast & then embraced in a sensual kiss- hilarious! Then there was a BLACKOUT, so they lost 500k- not good! There were also some crazy fashion choices as well. Blackout some interesting fashion choice- Ozzy looked like a third grader in gray Capri pants. Kam was in a flesh colored lace-up the front skin tight dress. Tyler wearing a shirt circa Express 2002. Andre had a legit denim tuxedo & Staten Island Mike was rocking the thickest denim vest I’ve ever seen. Michael looked like he was auditioning to star as a pirate in the middle school play. Joey, my boy, was killing it in a hoodie & bed head.

WEEK 3 – Are You The One? Season 5

Well, this episode is called Butthurt & that’s an accurate representation of the mood in the house. Kam & Edward are SO cute together- they have got to get to the truth booth! Ozzy called out Joey for being butthurt over Carolina not being his match. They were offered 150k if they didn’t send Ozzy & Carolina in the truth booth & guess what- NO MATCH, so they are still only playing for 500k! Kathryn is now onto guy #3 with bed-head Joey. Loved Tyranny likening Osvaldo to Johnny Depp in Crybaby! Poor Tyler; every time he sits down with a girl, “it gets physical.” He’s a total ass- he made a nasty remark to Taylor in episode 2 & outed Kari for hooking up with him in front of everyone! What a dick move. But you know what, Michael stood up for Taylor & called Tyler out on his foul behavior. Props to you, Michael. Tonight- 4 beams!

WEEK 4 – Are You The One? Season 5

Tyler is still a brooding, misunderstood asshole- seriously, go away. Taylor & Andre definitely have a spark going on by the end of the episode. Alicia & Edward were hanging out & Kam is supposed to be Alicia’s girl, but she seemed kinda okay with it. Poor Tyranny & Osvaldo-they were NOT a perfect match. They were both heartbroken & Osvaldo hit a punching bag & got some very long hugs from the guys in the house. Guys had the picks tonight & although the plan was derailed, they still got some beams, but we have NO CONFIRMED MATCHES!

WEEK 5 – Are You The One? Season 5

OMG!! we finally got a perfect match this week.  Edward & Kam were a perfect match & I saw that coming a long time ago. But what in the hell were Edward and Alicia thinking?!? Why would they hook-up after he & Kam were a confirmed perfect match? On top of that, Kam & Alicia are supposed to be buddies-what a freaking backstabber. When Kam asked them, they didn’t even come clean-they said they were just kissing, but hell no-it was a FULL ON HOOK-UP.  Things will likely boil over tonight & I can’t wait. Even with the confirmed match, there were only 4 beams & not much progress. They better get it going-QUICK.  this week.

WEEK 6 – Are You The One? Season 5

I thought this was the week this crew would get it together, but NOPE. My girl, Kari had a brilliant idea to switch it up & try to figure out if Casandra & Jaylen were a match or not. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out for the AYTO cast. I loved how Devlin was all, ‘this won’t work’. There’s definitely still a battle of strategy vs. play with your heart. Andre & Taylor seem to be legit liking each other, but something about Andre tells me not to trust him. I dunno though. Hannah & Ozzy were totally feeling each other & everybody thought they were a Perfect Match, but NOPE. They cried, hugged, hooked up anyways. Alicia, damn she’s a schemer, she tried to talk to Ozzy and was climbing all over him. Hannah did not take this well. She thinks Alicia goes after the guys other girls are feeling & I would have to agree. Kam & Edward are in the honeymoon suite- awkward? Loved how Gianna put that punk Tyler in his place & totally put him on blast. He was talking about hooking up with all the girls and he wanted to be ‘that guy.’ YUCK- Tyler is a total jerk & I hope to GOD he doesn’t wind up on The Challenge. I want him to be gone from MTV after this run. Looking forward to more fireworks between Andre & Taylor next week & Alicia & Hannah arguing. Also -4 BEAMS- no progress. These guys have got to get it going.

WEEK 7 – Are You The One? Season 5

My God, Alicia is foul as hell. Climbing on top of Ozzy at the beach right after Hannah gets up. What the hell? She got all up in Hannah’s face & was completely rude, but Hannah held her own- classy! Did the crew get a Perfect Match with lovebirds, Andre & Taylor? NOPE. They weren’t a match & they basically said, ‘to hell with y’all, but we are going to be a couple anyway.’ This cast is kind of crazy. I feel like it’s the same thing every week- a “STRONG” couple that turns out to be no match & yet the pairs don’t want to separate & try meeting their actual match. It’s frustrating. Where’s Devin when you need him to work some magic with the strategy? Hoping they can pull it off, but I’m not sure it will happen. Jaylen said it best when he said, “Everyone is being an idiot.” 4 beams total tonight- no progress! Next week- Ryan says Shut the F Up!! I’ve got to see him lose his cool!

WEEK 8 – Are You The One? Season 5

Another episode in the books for R U the One, and there were more great moments in this weeks episode.  The is only the second time this season that a couple went into the truth booth and were deemed a perfect match.  congratulations Hayden and Carolina “you are a perfect match”.  As a fan of the show this has given me hope that this group will somehow get it together and win their money.  But, based on what we saw at the lighting ceremony I have to hit the brakes on my excitement.  These kids just cannot get it together, and where arguing to the point that Ryan yelled “Shut the Fuck up” at the whole cast.  With two confirmed matches I was hoping that these kids could find a way to have a few more beams light up.  They only had four beams last week and improved to five this week.  Yes that is improvement but, with only two weeks left I would not bet on this cast winning the grand prize.

WEEK 9 – Are You The One? Season 5

Joey & Cassandra are feeling each other while Hayden & Carolina head to the Honeymoon Suite. Big Mike & Derrick get into a heated altercation at those house after Derek is trying to talk to Kathryn. Derrick bitch slaps Mike & this really escalated the situation. The next morning, Kathryn tells Mike there is no way they will work out in the house. This week’s Challenge is called The Windows to the Soulmate. There’s a giant game board with the eyes of all the guys. The women basically play shuffleboard trying to get their puck on their guy’s eyes. Cassandra wins the first date & wins a date with Staten Island Mike, even though she wanted to go on the date with Joey. Tyranny also won a date with Derrick. Hannah & Joey are talking at the house & eventually make-out, which will no doubt upset Cass The house votes Tyranny & Derrick into the Truth Booth because Mike & Cassandra are already a confirmed no match.  The house traded knowing if Derrick & Tyranny are a Perfect Match for a chance at $150,000. Joey comes clean to Cass & she makes a public proclamation to the house that she’s pissed because they hooked up. At the Match-Up, Shannon picks Tyler which disrupts the entire strategy in the house. Derrick calls her out on it in front of Ryan. The group had 9 beams this week!

WEEK 10 – FINALE – Are You The One? Season 5

We start off hot & heavy with Kathryn & Ozzy hooking up in the Boom Boom Room. This week’s challenge consists of the guys hearing facts about the women. After they hear the tidbit about the women, they can choose to go for it & eat or drink a disgusting item like a fish gut smoothie. So, Joey wins a date with Cass & Derrick wins a date with Tyranny. Remember, they traded last week, so Derrick & Tyranny cannot go into the Truth Booth, so there is no vote this week. Jaylen & Tyranny get a little closer at those when she cooks him dinner. Later, Gianna tells Hannah that Kathryn & Ozzy hooked up. The house confronts Shannon & Tyler about coupling up so early and blame then for the lack of beams. Shannon says, “Too bad, I followed my heart. Cass & Joey head to the Truth Booth & the house traded again to up their potential earnings. At the Final Match-Up, Carrie & Big Mike, Ozzy & Gianna, Staten Island Mike & Alicia are paired. Joey picked Hannah, Osvaldo picked Taylor & Jaylen picked Tyranny. Tyler picks Cass, Andre picks Kathryn & Derrick picks Shannon & he gives her his Jesus necklace. Shannon is so touched & she’s crying, which I hope means she will get away from that Asshat Tyler. The group gets 8 BEAMS & they LOSE THE GAME.

Are You The One?

Momma, wife, baker, reader & smart ass. I am Really Into doughnuts, inside jokes, trash TV, pizza, 48 Hours & George Michael.

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